The Talk III-C
by Blackspiderman
Summary: Takes place after the New Adventures chapter "Hollywood Doof." An ill-advised comment by Baljeet makes for an awkward and revealing conversation with him and a certain...woman. Rated T for safety. Absolutely no flames allowed.


**Phineas and Ferb**

**The Talk III-C**

**FanFiction Summary: An ill-advised comment by Baljeet leads to a frightening yet emotional conversation that ultimately reveals some long-hidden feelings.**

**A/N: I said "The Talk III" is NOT canon to my "New Adventures" series, and it's not. This one, however, _is_ canon, hence the C in the title. Takes place after "Hollywood Doof"**

**Disclaimer: **_**Phineas and Ferb **_**does not belong to me. It belongs to the two geniuses **_**Dan Povenmire **_**and **_**Jeff "Swampy" Marsh. **_**Keep up the good work, gentlemen!**

* * *

On the television, the show returned. "Welcome back everyone! The time has come for the audience to see each of the videos that our competitors have come up with. And then...it's time to vote! Now, I'm a firm believer in making a very good first impression. With that in mind, I see no better video to open up the voting polls with than with this absolute train wreck. Seriously, I have no idea what happened here but I'm just gonna play this one by our very own Linda Flynn-Fletcher and let you guys decide what you think."

"He likes it so much he's speechless!" Linda said, still very much oblivious. But that would quickly change.

"Now technically, I should disqualify this video because it far exceeds the two minute time limit. But...it's just so something original that I can't resist showing it to you people!"

"I told you. You guys are gonna love it."

The screen changed to a recording of the video Linda recorded...which, if you recall, was five hours of nothing but her sleeping on the ground, prompted by Doofenshmirtz's earlier sabotage attempts. The video started in the middle, so it had picked up while Linda had already been asleep for a few hours. There were noticeable drool puddles on the ground around her and on her face. Her snoring was ridiculously loud...so loud in fact that it actually roared over the loud laughter and applause from the audience.

Nevertheless, everyone in the room - Linda included - was shocked and dumbfounded. Nobody knew what to say really, not even Baljeet who was flip-flopping between being appalled and absolutely loving it.

On the video, Linda snorted and started tossing and turning. She eventually ended up on her stomach, and her rear end stuck up right into the center of the camera. She resumed snoring - even louder than before - and the audience resumed laughing. On the inside, Baljeet was squealing. Linda, on the other hand, was mortified.

"Um, Mom?" Phineas spoke up. "I don't get it. What are we waiting for?"

Linda groaned. "I don't know what happened. I don't remember any of this. But obviously something happened!" She buried her face into her hands. "I've never been more embarrassed about anything in my life."

"Do not feel embarrassed, Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher." Baljeet spoke up, perhaps ill-advisedly. "This video is not a total failure. In fact, it is actually quite refreshing. I am sure there are plenty of people out there that would watch this video and absolutely enjoy it on a regular basis. Believe it or not, there are plenty of people out there who would watch this footage on a consistent basis and like what they see." Upon realizing what he had just blurted out, he quickly covered his mouth and blushed. His sentence drew a variety of reactions from his friends & co.

"Wow. I literally can't think of a response for that." Buford said bluntly.

"Yeah, even _I'm_ at a loss. And look at me!" Isabella shouted, drawing a snicker from Phineas.

"Well...I think that's quite enough excitement for one day." Lawrence stood up. "I'm off to get ready for bed." He walked towards the stairs and headed for his room.

"Yeah, I gotta bail too. I gotta go dress shopping with Mom tomorrow and I wanna get all the crying out of the way now." Buford said as he too went towards the door.

"We're gonna go get ready for bed, too." Phineas said as he, Ferb, and Isabella went up the stairs towards the boys' room.

"I'm...gonna go call Stacy." Candace said, following shortly after the boys. This left both Linda and Baljeet on the couch alone. Both were incredibly embarrassed at the moment, but for completely different reasons. Linda was embarrassed of the video she had made - which essentially was five hours of her sleeping - and Baljeet was embarrassed of the comment he made about the video - which was essentially him endorsing the video and saying that he liked it.

"Well...this has been quite an experience." Baljeet said to break the silence.

"I agree." Linda responded before falling back into silence. "Well...I'm going to go into the kitchen to get something. Would you like anything?"

"No thank you. I am fine." He responded. Linda stood up, patted him on the head, and walked into the kitchen. The slow walk gave Baljeet a long look at her backside, which Baljeet greatly enjoyed.

For the longest time, Baljeet had a crush on Linda. At first it started off as just an innocent little crush on an older, more attractive woman. But as the summer passed, Baljeet noticed that the crush wasn't going away, and every time he even looked in Linda's direction, he would get goosebumps. The feelings would intensify every time he got a good look at her backside - he thought her rear end was very big and incredible to look at. As even more time passed, he developed even stronger feelings for her, and very quickly it got to the point where his one and only desire would be to just walk up to her, grab her butt and squeeze it as hard as he could for as long as he could.

But he didn't have the guts to say anything. What could he say? He was a quarter her age, and it didn't seem very appropriate for a boy of his age to be crushing so hard on a woman her age and beauty. But that didn't stop him from admiring her from afar. All he wanted was a little bit of a token to keep with him - something to remind him on a daily basis how beautiful and attractive she was, and he felt the video of her sleeping was the perfect token.

As soon as Baljeet was sure that Linda was out of sight, he took out his tablet and turned it on. He immediately went to the show's website and opened up the front page. Sure enough, Linda's five hour video of her sleeping was still up there, and amazingly it remained the most watched video of those available. He proceeded to download the video and keep the file for himself. When the download was done, he opened the video up and fast-forwarded it about 4 1/2 hours in. At this point in the video there were dozens of large drool puddles surrounding Linda's head. By now she was so deep into her sleep that it looked almost repulsive.

Her mouth was open so widely that - from the angle the camera was in - it appeared as though her head was actually tilted back, so her open mouth was the only thing that could be seen. It was also possible to see the drool that was gurgling in her mouth as it spilled onto the ground. Her snores were so loud and deafening that it almost broke the speakers. The sight was really disgusting and repulsive for most people to watch.

But Baljeet wasn't most people. In fact, he found that the more gross she looked while she was sleeping, the more attractive she actually was, and words couldn't describe just how much he was enjoying the video. Unfortunately for him, the sound of Linda snoring was so loud that it drew Linda's attention away from the kitchen. She returned holding a plate of cookies to find Baljeet staring happily at his tablet. She could also hear the snoring, so she had a pretty good idea of what he was watching.

"Baljeet?" She said calmly. Suddenly Baljeet's face turned red and his eyes popped. He slowly turned to the Linda standing in the doorway. He was literally frozen in terror. Linda instantly felt sympathy for him seeing his terrified face. "What'cha watching?"

"Uh, nothing! Nothing at all!" He said as he tried to hide his tablet behind his back. But he forgot to turn it off, so the sounds were still coming out. Linda slowly walked over to the couch and put the plate of cookies next to her and faced him.

"Really? Because it sounds like you were watching something, and you looked like you were enjoying it."

"No, you are mistaken. I was watching nothing." He tried desperately to argue, but the sounds of her snoring were far too loud to be ignored. He sighed and took out his tablet again. He handed it to Linda for her to see for herself. They resumed watching it together; at this point in the video, Linda was tossing and turning so much, and she eventually ended up on her stomach in a position so that her butt was literally in the face of the camera. She resumed snoring. She was even mumbling loudly.

Baljeet was clearly embarrassed. Not at the video but the fact that he enjoyed watching it so much. He turned his back to Linda in the hopes that she wouldn't confront him over it - at least angrily. But to his surprise, she not only didn't show any anger on her face, she actually smiled. "Baljeet, remember when you said that there were a lot of people out in the world that would watch my video and "like what they see?" She asked him calmly. He didn't move a muscle.

"Yes, yes I recall that." He answered, his back still turned to her.

"Would one of those people happen to be you?" She asked bluntly but sweetly. This time, Baljeet slowly turned to face her. He was still mortified, fully expecting a tongue-lashing from her. "Baljeet, it's OK. You can answer."

"I...I really don't want to talk about it." He said dejectedly.

"Well, I do. And I think deep down you do as well. Because it looks like this is something that's been brewing inside of you for a long time now."

Baljeet gulped. "Well..."

"Besides, wouldn't you rather talk about it now than keep it inside you until you do something stupid?"

Baljeet looked directly at her. She smiled warmly at him, assuring him that she wasn't upset. He took a loud sigh. "Well, there are some things that I have been wanting to get off my chest for a while now."

"OK then."

"But...I am worried that if I do, then you will look at me like I am some kind of weirdo, and that was not what I intended at all."

"I'm sure it wasn't."

"So, if I tell you everything - and I mean _everything_ - will you promise me that you will just hear me out and not get mad until I am finished."

"For all you know, I might not even get mad at you at all. But yes, I will hear you out."

Baljeet gave a brief smile before sighing loudly again. "OK then, here it goes..." He closed his eyes for a brief moment, contemplating exactly how he wanted to say what he was about to say. "Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, I think you are an incredibly beautiful and attractive woman. Every time I look at you, I am blown away over just how beautiful you truly are...from top to bottom."

Linda couldn't help but smile and blush. She knew that Baljeet would find a way to say what he wanted to say but make it sound thoughtful and considerate.

"But it is not that simple. See, I have had these feelings for a long time now."

"How long have you had them?" She asked him calmly.

"For the last few months, actually. I do not remember where or when exactly they started, but all I know is that all I had to do was look at you once and I was instantly captivated by your appearance. And it has become increasingly difficult for me to keep in my feelings because recent..." He swallowed his pride. "I have done some things that I am not entirely proud of..."

Linda placed a comforting hand on Baljeet's shoulder and pulled him close. She saw instantly that he was hurting; he genuinely didn't want to hurt anymore, and merely thought that what he had done was his outlet for his feelings. "What have you done?" She asked sweetly.

"I remember a few months ago, after everyone else had gone home for the night, I was using the restroom. It was late at night and the rest of the family had gone to bed. When I came out, I heard a faint sound coming from your room. I thought at first that someone was perhaps trying to break in, so I decided to check it out. But when I peered into your room, I only saw you and your husband asleep in bed. But I could still hear the noise. So I crept into the room to investigate, and only then did I discover what that noise was."

Linda looked away briefly and blushed. She was embarrassed by the well-known fact that she snores very loudly in her sleep, a trait she passed down to Phineas. "Yes, I hate to admit it, but it's true. I...I snore. I don't like it, but-"

"No, don't speak negative of it!" Baljeet urged. "The thing is...I do."

"Excuse me?"

"I like your snoring."

Linda blinked twice, unsure whether or not she heard what she heard. "OK, I might be hearing things because I could've sworn you said you _like_ my snoring."

"No, you heard correctly." Baljeet admitted. "See, when I discovered that it was you making that sound, I started feeling something that I had never felt before. And as I watched you slumber and salivate all over your pillows..." Linda again blushed, again embarrassed of her own sleep habits which Baljeet was now beginning to rave over. "...I decided that I wanted something to remember it by. After all I couldn't really stay in that room all night, could I? So, I decided to film you. I filmed you sleeping for about thirty minutes...and I swear, your snoring gets louder as the night progresses."

"So I've been told. I've also been told that my snoring gets exponentially louder if I'm sleep deprived."

"So after that night, I spent days watching that footage over and over again, and every time I watched it, I grew to love it even more. I still do not understand why, but I found you to be much more beautiful when you are sleeping than when you are awake."

"...thank you?" Linda had an odd mixture of feelings at that moment, as she was trying to process everything that Baljeet was telling her.

"But after a while, the footage got old, and I decided to return here at night to find you sleeping again. I wanted originally to film you again, but this time I wanted it up close. So...I climbed into the bed on your side, but when I took off the blankets...something else caught my eye." He looked away briefly.

"What do you mean?" She asked him, already having an idea of what he was about to say but wanting to hear it from him.

"When I pulled off the blankets to climb into bed, I saw...well, uh..." He struggled with the words. For him, this was a moment of truth. What he was about to say was either going to get him a disgusted response or a positive reception. He didn't want to face it.

"Baljeet, go ahead. Tell me. It's OK."

"But...it's very sensitive, and I do not want to say anything to get you mad."

"I told you I would hear you out and _then_ tell you what I want to tell you. And it's obvious this is something very personal. So go on. Tell me. I promise I will not get mad at you."

"You promise?"

"I promise." She hugged him a little tighter to assure him of her promise.

"Alright. When I pulled off the blankets, I saw...your...your butt." He said the last two words very quickly just to get them out, and then he shut his eyes tightly and waited for the tongue thrashing. But it never came. Instead, Linda asked him to repeat what he said.

"What did you say?"

"I said...I-I saw your butt."

Linda remained quiet for a moment, again trying to process what he said. But she stayed true to her word and did not get angry. "My butt."

"Yes, you were lying on your stomach at the time. For the first few seconds, I thought nothing of it. But then as I continued staring at it, I realized that I could not take my eyes off of it no matter how hard I tried. That, combined with your thunderous snoring and...I'm not exactly sure what took over, but I soon found myself dumping my film equipment and climbing into the bed. I made myself comfortable, and...and..." Again, he hit a roadblock.

"Go ahead."

"I...I used your posterior as a pillow for my slumber."

Again, Linda blinked. Inside, she couldn't believe all of the things that he was telling her. He was really opening up to her with the fear that she would be extremely angry and offended. But at the core, she was not angry or offended at all. In fact, the more he talked, the more flattered she became. "You used my butt as your own pillow?" She asked to clarify; he nodded in confirmation. "I see. Well...did you...did you sleep well?"

"I do not remember how I slept. All I remember is the joy and elation I felt that night."

"OK wait, so how exactly did that transpire?"

"Well, once I positioned myself to use your rear end as a pillow, I decided to do something just before I fell asleep."

"And what was that?"

He gulped and took a deep breath. "I took my hands and placed them carefully on both of your butt cheeks."

"Alright. And then?"

"And then...I squeezed them."

Again, a moment of silence. Baljeet tried to pull away from Linda's hug fearing that she would lash out. But she kept him close and even smiled at him. "You squeezed my butt cheeks? And...how did that feel?"

"I will not lie to you..." He then looked right up at her and smiled widely. "It was the greatest feeling of my life." He said happily. Linda blinked but kept smiling as well, allowing him to get everything off of his chest before she spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"When I squeezed them, it felt like I was trying to squeeze a foam mattress. Your butt cheeks are extremely firm, so it was hard to squeeze. But it also made it that much more fun to try and squeeze them as hard as I could." Baljeet was finally starting to relax. He kept on smiling as he continued talking. Linda followed suit.

"Do you remember how many times you squeezed them?"

"I stopped counting after 100." He admitted, which took Linda by surprise. "Oh, and one other thing. I could not help but notice that every time I did squeeze your butt cheeks, your snoring got exponentially louder, as well as your cheeks becoming even firmer and tighter..which also made it more fun to squeeze."

"Yeah, I know. It's an interesting quirk about my body that I don't understand why. I think Phineas has the same problem."

"Anyway, so after I finished squeezing them, I rested my head in the middle of your butt, put my hands on both cheeks, and I went to sleep. I made sure that I went to sleep while I was still squeezing to get your cheeks as tight as I could and your snoring as loud as possible."

"Well, it sounds like you certainly had fun."

"I did. When I woke up the next morning it had felt like I had slept for a week. I was so refreshed! And I was lucky to have awakened before you did. I was able to get out of there before you spotted me."

"Is there anything else?"

"OH yes. There is plenty more. A few nights later, I went back with the intention of doing it again. But this time, when I went back, I had this odd urge."

"What kind of urge?"

"I did not want to just sleep on your butt again. So this time..." Again, Baljeet looked away with no intention of saying anything.

"Tell me. It's OK."

He looked back at her. She proceeded to kiss him on the forehead to calm him down. "Alright. This time...I decided...I decided I wanted to see the real thing."

She raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand."

"You know...the _real thing_."

"You're going to have to explain yourself. I can't understand-"

"I wanted to see your naked behind!" He almost shouted, covering his mouth as soon as he did and looking away. He waited a few seconds before looking back up at Linda. Instead of seeing a scowl or a disgusted face, he saw a smile and a twinkle in her eye. "You...are not angry?"

"No, no I'm not. I told you I would let you tell me everything you had before I got upset and made my judgement. So...go ahead."

"Alright. So, I wanted to see your naked butt, so I...I climbed into the bed and pulled your pajama pants down. And there it was...your naked butt."

"Well...what did you think?" She asked. "Did you like it?"

"I loved it. It was _so_ beautiful." Baljeet said lovingly. "In all of its giant and naked glory, as well as it's many, many dark freckles. So I climbed into the bed and rested my head on your naked butt. But about an hour into it, something happened."

"Something like what?"

"Well, you...you had accidentally tossed and turned, and...and you ended up on your back."

"I toss and turn all the time. It's just how I sleep."

"Yes, but this time there was something on your behind. As in...me."

"Baljeet, I don't-" But then it hit her. Baljeet was using her big naked butt as a pillow for him, and she had accidentally rolled onto her back. "Oh...Oh Baljeet, you don't mean..."

"Yes, I do. When you rolled onto your back, you accidentally sat on me. And you stayed there...for the rest of the night."

Linda suddenly blushed and looked petrified. "Oh, dear. Well, I'm sorry. I obviously didn't mean for that to happen. I didn't know you were there."

"Do not feel upset. I am not blaming you. More to the point, I actually enjoyed it."

"I...wait, you _enjoyed_ it? Baljeet, I was _sitting on you_ and you enjoyed it?"

"Yes, yes I did. Oh, and one other thing. Are you aware of the bodily functions that we occasionally have? That happen when we least expect it?"

"You mean like...like..." She was hoping that he wasn't referring to what she thought he was referring too. "Oh my god, I didn't."

"You did. You...passed gas in my face that night." He responded "Actually, you did it many, many times that night."

Linda groaned and closed her eyes. She was incredibly embarrassed. "Oh Baljeet, I am so sorry about that."

"I am not." He retorted back. "It was great." He smiled warmly at her.

"You mean...you mean my farts were quiet and unnoticeable?"

"No, they were loud and smelly." He responded, this time with a bit of a laugh. "And every time you farted, it was even louder and smellier than the last. And I loved it. So I fell asleep with all that in mind and loved it."

Linda felt such an off mixture of feelings at that point. She was listening to a child rave about his extreme attraction to both her sleep habits and her physical statute, and doing so very reluctantly. He was fully expecting her to be upset with him and even berate him for this. Instead, she sat back and allowed him to go on, saving her opinion for the end.

"Is there anything else I should know?"

"Yes. Yes there is." He took out his cellphone and opened it up to his photos. He showed the phone to her. "You take quite a nice picture." He scrolled through dozens of pictures - all of them were of either her rear end or her snoring & drooling face.

"I see you have some...pictures of me." Linda said slowly. "How many of these do you actually have?"

"I am not sure. I stopped counting after fifty." Baljeet admitted. "And that's not all, either." He scrolled to one more photo, except this one wasn't a photo. It was a video. It was a shoddy video taking place in Linda's bedroom. She was all alone in the room and beginning to undress. The camera sneaked to a position where it was directly behind her. She was next to her drawer and getting out her pajamas. She laid them out on the bed, and then began to take her pants off. Once her pants were down and her naked butt was showing, a dart came into the picture and struck Linda right in the right butt cheek. She yelped, but before she could do anything else, she grew incredibly sleepy. She put her hands firmly on her hips, and within seconds, she was fast asleep, evidenced by her ridiculously loud snoring. The camera moved up very close to it, and a hand came into the picture, removing the dart from her rear end. The video remained positioned directly behind her butt for approximately 10 minutes.

When the video ended, Baljeet turned off his phone and put it away, and once again he waited for an angry response from Linda. For her part, Linda was simply stunned at what she had witnessed. "Well...there you have it. That is everything I have for you." Baljeet said. "And before you berate and yell at me, I would like to take the opportunity to apologize to you. I never intended to cause you any embarrassment or harm. I just felt that you were so incredibly attractive and beautiful, and that I needed to find an outlet for my feelings. I realize that this wasn't the best way to handle it, and I feel terrible. So I hope that you can find it in your heart to forgive me someday."

Baljeet attempted to stand up and leave, but he was pulled back onto the couch by Linda, who still had a grip on his shoulder. At first, Linda didn't say anything, merely staring sternly at Baljeet. But as a moment passed, she warmed up and eventually smiled widely at him. "Why are you smiling at me?" He asked her.

"Because...in all my years, I have never been quite as flattered as I am right now." She answered honestly, which utterly shocked him. He blinked twice.

"Come again?"

"I said I'm flattered."

"That is what I thought you said. But may I ask why?"

Linda hugged Baljeet tighter. "Baljeet, I think you are a very sweet, very kind young boy, and when you say that you didn't want to hurt my feelings or offend me, I believe you. What I think is happening is that you are going through a very sensitive time in your life, and you are experiencing changes to yourself, both physically and emotionally, and you are seeing things in a whole new light. And those changes brought you to me. Now, yes, what you've done with all this isn't exactly appropriate. I'll be the first to say. But...I still think it's very sweet."

"You do?"

"Yes. I'll be honest, Baljeet. I love my husband more than anything else in the world. He is such a sweet, funny man. But...sometimes I feel like he doesn't even notice me. And by that I mean notice my...physique."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, sometimes I try to show off my butt by either wearing really tight pants or...or in some cases, no pants at all. Anything just to get a word out of him, but every time I try, he ignores me. I'm sure he doesn't mean to, but it bothers me. I don't want to be loved for just my personality. I want to be noticed for my appearance to. So...to hear you say all those nice things about my appearance, it...it felt really nice."

"You weren't offended?"

"I would have been more offended if you were disgusted with what you saw. I'm pretty sure my husband is, even if he'd never admit it. But the fact that you aren't really helps."

"You have no idea how relieved I am to hear you say that." He smiled as they embraced again. "But...where do we go from here? I mean, I am not in a position to simply drop the feelings I have for you. I still believe you are an incredibly attractive women, but it is not really appropriate to continue this, is it?"

"Well, you're not wrong. It would be inappropriate. At the same time, I really appreciate what you've said and I'm downright flattered with your attraction to me, and I know you don't mean any harm. I'm sure there's a solution. Tell you what: I have to make a phone call. Why don't you have some cookies and think this over?" She kissed his forehead again, and then she stood up to go into the kitchen.

Baljeet took a cookie and began eating it, if nothing else but to take his mind off of the entire situation. Even though he had gotten everything off of his chest that he wanted to, he couldn't help but feel guilty. As he was mulling over everything, there was a knock at the door. He got up and answered the door. It was Christian Potenza standing there. (**Remember this takes place right after "Hollywood Doof")**

"Hey there. Is there a Linda Flynn-Fletcher here?" He asked.

"She just stepped away."

"I see. Well, then can you just give here this?" He reached into his pocket and pulled out an envelope, and he gave it to Baljeet. "It's her prize money...a whopping six hundred fifty-nine dollars and forty-one cents."

"That sounds like an awfully random number."

"Not gonna lie. I pulled some homeless guy off the street and asked him to pick a bunch of numbers. Well, see ya punk." With that he closed the door and left. Inside, Baljeet went back towards the couch and sat down. Linda also returned to the living room.

"OK, so I think I have a solution." She said as she walked towards the couch. She made a conscious effort to sit as close to Baljeet as possible. She did so, and in the process she also sat on his hand, which delighted him internally. She then noticed the envelope in his other hand. "What's that?"

"Oh, it is your prize from the show." He handed her the envelope. "It is not a lot of money."

"I'll say." She responded as she studied the envelope and put it in her pocket. "So listen, I think I have a solution. I called your mom-"

"You did what?" Baljeet shouted with shock.

"Just hear me out! I told her what was going on...and by that I mean I merely told her that you were feeling some...stuff. I didn't give any specific details whatsoever or explain to her what I meant. I only told that you had a little crush on me."

"A _little_ crush?"

"And in return, she told me that the best way to handle it was for me to handle it. She told me to do what I thought was best."

"OK, I suppose that is fair. So...what _do_ you think is best?" He asked.

"Don't you worry, Baljeet. I know exactly what to do. Follow me." She stood up and took his hand. Together they walked upstairs and down the hall. They passed by her bedroom, which caught him off guard.

"We passed your bedroom." He said.

"I know that. We're not going there. We're going to a different room." She took him to the end of the hall; there was a secret door - a door that was the same color as the wall, making it camouflage - right at the end with a lock on it. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a key, and she used it to unlock it. They went inside and saw that it was another bedroom; with a big bed up against the wall, a dressed & mirror on the other side, a private bathroom, and one window with blinds.

"What is this room?"

"This is a secret room. I'm the only one that knows about it in the family...and now you know about it too. It's an emergency room in case we ever need to take cover in an emergency. The walls are reinforced with steel, and it's basically soundproof. Plus, since the door and the lock are the same color as the walls, you can't even see it unless you already know about it."

"That makes sense. But I still do not understand why you took me here."

"Give me a minute, and I'll show you." She walked over to the mirror and just stood there for a brief moment. Baljeet slowly walked up to her as well, unsure as to what was going to happen next. "Baljeet, you still have your phone on you, right?"

"Yes."

"Good, because you're going to need it." And with that sentence, Linda started to do something that caught Baljeet completely off guard. She took her pants and underwear and slowly started to pull them down. When they dropped to the ground, her big, naked butt was showing. Linda smiled warmly as she placed her hands on her hips and stood there motionless. "Well?"

Baljeet was basically speechless. "Well...what?"

"Aren't you going to take pictures?"

"P-Pictures?"

"Yeah. They'll last longer."

Baljeet said nothing for a moment. He felt like it was all a trick, but secretly hoped that it was not. "Mrs. Flynn-Fletcher, what is this all about? Is this a trick?"

Linda sighed, but did not move. "No, it's not a trick. See, your mother told me that it was up to me as to how to handle the situation. And I've decided that the best way for _us_ to handle it is to act out our feelings. It wouldn't be fair for me to ask you to just bottle them up. That's why I've taken us to this secret room. It's a room nobody knows about and it's completely sound-proof so nobody will hear us. I'm giving you the opportunity to freely act out how you feel about me without worry of repercussion."

"Really?"

"Really. So go ahead, Baljeet. Take as many pictures as you want. Squeeze my butt cheeks as many times as you want. Just let me know when you're done, because after that, we're going to sleep."

A smile slowly crept onto Baljeet's face. And he obeyed. He obeyed big time. He took literally hundreds of pictures of Linda's naked rear end, capturing every possible angle to get the biggest butt cheeks possible. When he was done with that, he put the phone away and started squeezing her butt cheeks freely. They were so firm and tight to begin with that squeezing them was made all the more fun. While he did that, he also decided to started leaning his face against her naked butt while he was squeezing, and that made it twice as fun. All the while, Linda stayed perfectly still and relished in the experience. Whether Baljeet believed it or not, it was just as much fun for her to have somebody raving over her butt and squeezing it so as it was for him to actually be doing it.

It took all of half an hour, but he finally ceased. "OK, is it time for sleep?" He asked.

"Yes. Yes it is." She responded as she walked towards the bed. "Let me get in first." She pulled the blankets up and climbed in, making sure to go on her stomach so her butt was facing the ceiling. "Go ahead. Climb in." Baljeet did so, but he climbed in next to her. "No silly, I meant climb down there." Baljeet looked down and saw her rear end, and instantly understood. He moved down towards her rear end, but was reluctant to put his head down.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I am. I told you we're going to act out our feelings, and I know there is nothing that you want more than to be able to use my big rear end as a pillow. Besides, I told you it's not just fun for you. I'm getting a kick out of it too. These are the kinds of things I've begged my husband to do for years but he just won't. So to do it with you is a nice bonus."

Baljeet couldn't help but smile, though on the inside he was giddy as anything. "Then I will make sure to cherish this one opportunity to-"

"One opportunity? You're still not getting it, are you? This isn't just a one time thing."

"It is not?"

"No. I will find us more opportunities to do this with you. I like the feelings I get from it and I know you do to."

"Really?"

"Really...you know, just as long as you don't have a problem with me if I accidentally roll on my back during the night or...you know, fart in your face several times."

"I would be disappointed if both of those things _did not_ happen." He responded, to which they both laughed. He finally rested his head in the middle of her butt and grabbed both of her cheeks. "So we will have other opportunities to do this?"

"Yes we will. In the meantime, you cannot tell anybody about this. If you do, I'll have no choice but to deny it and end this little arrangement of ours."

"Do not worry. I do not plan on sharing this with anybody. I am still in mere awe over how, after all of this, you are not only not angry with me but more importantly willing to set aside whatever moral values you have in order to allow me the chance to-" He found his speech interrupted by the loud sound of Linda's thunderous snoring. He looked up and saw that Linda had fallen asleep. Her mouth was wide open and drool was gushing onto the pillow. Baljeet took out his phone again and snapped dozens of pictures of her snoring face, and then snapped dozens of pictures of her rear end. When he was done, he put his phone away.

He then returned his attention to her big butt. He slowly lowered his head onto it, closed his eyes, and fell asleep, ready to enjoy the wonderful experience once again.

**The End.**

**So there you have it. This is the sidestory to the New Adventures chapter "Hollywood Doof." It is canon. I've decided in recent weeks that it's time for me to be a bit more bold in regards to this story. Let's face it. I've been writing it for nearly five years now. What's the harm in taking it in a new direction? Now, I won't shift the focus to solely on Phineas & Isabella (or other couples for that matter) just that they'll have a more adult feeling to them. Don't fear: I'm not taking it to the level of sex or anything like that. That's the one thing I promised I wouldn't do, and I feel like I have a nice middle ground with what I've done with them (and in this case Linda & Baljeet)**

**So make with it what you may. Constructively criticize all you want. But _absolutely no flames_**


End file.
